For a long time I’ve wondered how the women of old seemed to always be on top of the household chores, and I think that I’ve finally come up with an answer. It breaks down into two parts, and both can be modified for today’s living. Today, I am going to focus on the fun one.
Before telephones, people used to pop by unannounced for tea in the afternoon. You didn’t have more than a couple minutes warning that a friend was coming. If you were lucky, they were walking and the dogs tipped you off a full ten minutes before they arrived, and if you were unlucky they came by buggy and were at your doorstop before you knew it.
This was a great motivator for keeping the house spic and span. Most of our friends fall into one of two categories: the type you would have over even if the house is a bit of a mess, and the type that we would only invite over if the linens were ironed and the silver was polished. Back in the day, there was no telling who would show up, and so the silver was always polished.
With the invention of the telephone, it became no longer polite to show up unannounced. And if your house was a wreck, you could always put off the would-be visitor by saying that you were sick or were going out. Eventually, we stopped calling all together, and now we never invite ourselves over, instead we make dates weeks in advance to go out to coffee, thereby avoiding the home entirely.
So where is the lesson in all of this? I wouldn’t start showing up at friends’ houses unannounced to see if they eventually start keeping their house neater. What you can do instead is plan to host more. So many of us will think about having friends over, but we stop ourselves from inviting them because the house is a mess. A better way to think of it is: if the house is a mess, invite a friend to have dinner over in a couple days. This gives you the time to clean, but it sets a strict deadline on how long you have to do it.
Throw the hat over the wall so to speak. You will be amazed at how effective it is at motivating you to do the dreaded straightening and cleaning. In our household, this basically means that we have to have people over at least twice a month. Any less, and our house becomes rather unlivable. The beauty of this plan is that you get the joy of seeing the people that you love, and you get to have something to look forward to as you are cleaning.
Go on to: How Did They Do It? Part 2
I soo…. relate to this post. Only recently I had reflected on how we did not have any friends over at our home in recent months, mainly because it bugged me that our home was always messy (with toys everywhere etc). Also, as I wasn’t the greatest cook, I always feared messing up in the food area as well. Then, it became my resolution for 2008 to change all this. Last weekend I hosted my first lunch party and it went very well. So much so, that I am now looking forward to hosting more often!! And I agree…… this is the best way to keep the house neat and tidy!!
Spillay
http://spillay.wordpress.com
I’m so happy to hear about your resolution, and see that your party went off splendidly!
I never thought of it that way before…now I’ve invited people over for dinner on Saturday! Just thought I’d give it a try…maybe the house will get cleaner…
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Laura,
I’m glad that I’ve given you a new way to look at this. Let me know how it works out!
-Becca
I have to laugh at this suggestions. lol. Only because this is how I do things around here. In fact, if my husband comes home and finds things neat and tidy, the first thing that comes out of his mouth is, “Are having company?”. lol. Actually this is pretty sad, but still funny to me. I think it’s time to invite someone….
Donna
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Ah so true. It is amazing how I find time to clean when company comes, but can’t find it any other time. Like Donna’s husband my kids ask who is coming when we start cleaning.
Welcome Stephanie,
I say if you can’t beat them, join them! Go ahead and invite people over more often, it makes a good reason for the kids to clean their rooms;)
Like most of you above, I have found it hard to have people over if the house isn’t perfect. To ease myself in to this, I have started a gradual process. I might still stay up the night before vacuuming and cleaning the toilets, but I will leave the washing that needs to be folded neatly in a corner and am happy if when they come the morning tea is still cooking in the oven and I am cleaning up the mess form this. I have to start somewhere!
I have (I think) reached a happy balance with this “having people over help my house is messy” problem. When I first got married (3 yrs ago) I would hyperventilate. My husband loves having people over – last minute – and so I would run around cleaning, chucking things in closets, and generally making myself waaay too nervous to enjoy the company when it came. Then came baby #1 (July 06) and I learned that there’s a certain standard I like: things “picked up” but not white-glove clean. I can live with that. I admit with baby #2 (Nov 07) the standard has lowered a bit, but I’ve also learned to streamline… funny how priorities change!
Of course, no matter how many babies are involved, there is still nothing as motivating as having the out-of-town family come in for a visit!!! AAACK.
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I found your blog because I just wrote about cleaning. I agree with you. Hosting is a great motivator to clean. I also think there is value to some sorts of mess and our self-worth need not be wrapped up in the cleanliness our house. We should clean because we care for our home.
Mary Smith – You are very right. I do love my home, but I also love sharing it, which makes cleaning so much easier. I wish that I was able to motivate myself without the treat at the end, but alas, it seems not to be.